Our Life's Adventure...

Winging it...

2011-05-12T13:58:00.000-04:00

The kids sang last Sunday night at church. I, of course, forgot until Sunday morning. No worries... apparantly my kids can pull it together quickly just like their daddy. I recorded this while they were practicing before church. I think it was only their second time through it. They did much better during the service but I think it may have been tacky to record then.

Another birthday

2011-05-06T07:40:00.005-04:00

Happy Birthday to my wonderful Brooklynn. You will always be 'my baby".

Easter Pics

2011-04-25T18:45:00.002-04:00

I don't have any. I know... I am terrible. I have given up on cute dresses and beautiful pictures on Easter. The truth is... the weather is always terrible Easter weekend. I do feel like I missed out on something when I am looking at all the adorable pics I see on other's blogs and FB. I have Easter picture envy. Instead of being frustrated about this, I just wait until Mother's Day to pull out the cute outfits and take pictures. I'll get some pictures up then.

Dancing with Joy

2011-04-24T07:55:00.005-04:00

I hope you are enjoying this Easter with Joy and Celebration!
Witness how this Houston Church celebrated for all to see and to give.

We Can Give Clean Water

2011-04-20T14:09:00.002-04:00

Celebrate

2011-04-15T08:43:00.003-04:00

While we were gone, we celebrated Kaleb's 7th birthday which just also happens to be the same date we were in Ethiopia having our embassy day. He has been our son for 3 years. He is such a joy and we are so blessed that God chose us to be his parents and raise him. We can't imagine our family without him. We love you, Kaleb!

Road trip sing-a-long

2011-04-14T08:39:00.002-04:00

How do we manage so many hours in a car? Well- the kids play games, read books, color and sing. This song never stopped! As soon as they would quit singing it, someone else would start humming it again. At least I have kids that know all their 50 states. We dream of visiting them all.

More of Colorado

2011-04-13T08:07:00.004-04:00

After the first day in Co, we drove across 70 which is the best drive in the world! You go over high mtn passes and so we went into snow. Then we stopped at Colorado National Monument before crossing into Utah. Beautiful!

The Mtn pass on 70

Snow, snow, snow

Colorado National Monument. There's just no way to capture the beauty in a picture.

We're HOME!

2011-04-12T14:01:00.005-04:00

Ok- Again... you didn't know we were gone but I know it's not the smartest to post when we are away.

Kurt had to work in Salt Lake City last week so we all went! They paid for the week's hotel, Kurt food and gas and we added a few days on either weekend. I have lots of pics and things to share but need to find my cord that connects the camera to the computer. I still haven't finished unpacking.

Here's some from the beginning of the week that are already on the computer.

We drove straight through to Colorado- yes 22 hours. Everyone did great! We love our "roadtrips".

Garden of the God's in CO Springs.

Kurt- desperate to climb despite all the posting to stay off the rocks without permit.

Kurt's Home!

2011-03-21T08:37:00.008-04:00

Ok- so I never posted that Kurt left but he's been in Haiti for the last 10 days. He went with his sister, Nicolle, his sister-in-law, Laurie, and his niece, Sarah, joined them the last few days. Nicolle's husband, still lives and works there with relief efforts so they stayed with him. He was able to work on a new orphange site and then they traveled to look at some more possible building sites. Nicolle and David have created a nonprofit working with orphans and they now oversee and fundraise for a pastor who is caring for 45 orphans. They are building a new orphanage on beautiful property. You can go to Eyes Wide Open Int. to donate to their orphanage.

Pastor NaeNae and his family and the children they care for

the current kitchen

The beautiful property that they are building a new orphanage on

Nicolle, Laurie and Sarah- I'm NOT jealous at ALL :(

Season's changing

2011-03-14T22:23:00.004-04:00

Basketball season is over. It is fun but I am so grateful it is over. We don't have to rush our evenings to get kids to practice and we have our Saturdays back! Yae! We don't play spring or summer sports so now I am just looking forward to spring to relax, play outside and go hiking.
Brooklynn doesn't play any sports yet. She says she's scared of balls. That makes me laugh. I'm in no hurry to have all 5 involved. Juggling 4 is hard enough!

Beauty in the midst

2011-03-12T20:57:00.003-05:00

It's been a rough few weeks and stress is high but today I got to enjoy Koryn and Brianna in the speech meet. They both received excellent ribbons. I am so proud of my beautiful girls. Say a prayer for my dad, Fred, who is in ICU. He had a ministroke and 2 surgeries in the last week. Recovery has been rough but I am hoping he is finally starting to heal. There's a few other things going on but I'll share them later.

Ethiopia

2011-03-10T08:11:00.006-05:00

If you are involved in the adoption world at all, you have heard the news that Ethiopia is decreasing their adoptions by 90%. It has hit the adoption world very hard. It is heartbreaking for those already in the process because they don't know what that means for their own child they are waiting on. The reduction comes because of all the problems that have arisen with allegations of corruption in the adoption process. Yes- there have been problems that need to be addressed but there are still countless children who will suffer. True orphans who will never know the love of a family. Sick children or special needs who will never have a future or die, esp. those with HIV. I am so saddened for everyone.
The other tragedy is that the adoption world is actually taking sides in their reaction. They are fighting and dividing on their stance and that does nothing but tear us apart. We ALL want ethical ways to take care of these children.
One of the great debates is that some of these kids have living parents who gave them up. We criticize that as if it weren't ethical but we don't criticize American's if they do it. Parents give their children up for adoption in the US because they want what is best for their kids. Foster children have parents who cannot take care of them and eventually many are able to be adopted. Shouldn't that be an option for a poor or sick parent anywhere else? Don't we all want our children to be loved and provided for?
I KNOW that there are many stories about lying and unethical adoptions and they need to be researched and handled. I believe there are different ways than just a blanket decrease in adoption. The legitimate children who need help are the ones that suffer.
Please be praying for Ethiopia and their leaders. Also, be praying for adoptive families. That we would be united in our focus of the well-being of the children- even if we have different ways of viewing the solution.
For more info, go to:

US State Dept.

beliefnet.com

To sign a petition that will tell ET that you disagree with this decision, go here.

We are ALL adopted

2011-03-09T08:11:00.003-05:00

Third Day- Children of God

Random Pictures

2011-03-02T07:45:00.003-05:00

Here's just a few random pictures of the kids. Brooklynn is in a pouting phase and so one day I took pictures so she could see what she looked like.

The pouting didn't last.

Kaleb and Brianna enjoying a warmer day.

Have a great day!

I Refuse

2011-02-28T08:49:00.004-05:00

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song!
I pray that this will be the testimony of Christ's church.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

2011-02-24T09:39:00.005-05:00

I read this today on another blog and thought it was so beautifully written that I wanted to share it. It is by Amy, an adoptive mom whose family has recently been called to be missionaries at an orphanage in Guatemala. Here are her words:

Someone commented to me the other day about how strong my faith was when I was sharing with them about our going into full time missions.
And it took me off guard.
I guess that’s because I don’t always see myself as being that strong in my faith. I guess that is because I know my humanness. I know there are days that those wars inside of me are raging. Days where my flesh is stronger than my faith. Days when I question. Days when I can do nothing but fall to my knees and beg Jesus for His strength.

But it is there, on my knees, that I have grown without my even realizing it.

What the Lord has shown me is that too often we live in a ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’ kind of world.

We are told that before we take that first step, before we invest-we have to have some sort of guarantee that there is something in it for us.

Before we step out in faith, before we say yes, before we move- we need a guarantee.

A guarantee that it’s safe.

A guarantee that it will be easy.

A guaranteed that it will all work out.

But there really is no such thing.

The only guarantee we will ever have in this world is in Him.

Only, even in that we get confused.

People often believe that if they are good Christians, show up at church, tithe, volunteer and read the bible that there will be some sort of guarantee in this life.

Yet that is not at all the case.

Because you see, regardless of our faith- there will still be sickness, greed, loss, war, injustice, disease, famine and sometimes- bad things just happen to good people.

Sometimes people step out in faith and adopt a child and it is not happily ever after.
Sometimes people get married and that spouse does not remain faithful.
Sometimes we bring a child into this world to only loose them in a tragic accident.
Sometimes a missionary goes out to reach the lost and it cost them their life.
Sometimes our friends doesn’t treat us like a friend at all.

And we are left with broken hearts, broken dreams, broken bank accounts and we wonder where God was in all of it.

But the truth is- God never once told us our lives would be easy. He never once told us we would always be happy or always feel satisfied.

What He told us was that when we went through the trials in this life He would always be there...
regardless of our circumstances.

Our willingness to act, to serve, to give -has nothing to do with a guarantee and everything to do with our love for him- and not ourselves.

No one can guarantee you if you adopt a child it will be a happily ever after story.

No one can guarantee you if you don’t it will be either.

No one can guarantee you happiness.

No one can guarantee you that tragedy, pain or sickness won’t come if you make all the right choices and do all the right things.

No one can guarantee you that there will even be a tomorrow.

But what I can tell you is that if you choose to live your life trying to stay safe, trying to cling to comfort, ease, and perfection- then you will never have truly lived.

And one thing I can guarantee you is that God didn’t give you this life so you could just exist.

Trust me, you and I are not here for our comfort, happiness and ease.

There is a world full of opportunities out there for you to serve...a world full of hurting people who need to know Him ... a world full of opportunities to make your life count.

One day when we stand in front of the Lord- He will ask us what we did with the life He has given us.

Did we believe He was worth the effort, worth the risk, worth the sacrifice?

Or did WE get in the way of truly living for Him?

So if you are waiting for some sort of 'satisfaction guaranteed' before you take that first step-before you step out onto the water...

Then you are missing the point.

Because one day, when you are sitting at the feet of Jesus, then and only then, will know complete satisfaction.

And that is a guarantee.

To read more of their story, go to Building the Blocks.

Coupons, anyone?

2011-02-22T08:30:00.002-05:00

Since I have spent way TOO MUCH time on the computer and watching tv the last few days, I decided to look up some new coupon site. These are ones I heard recommmended on tv so I figured they must be good ones. I found great coupons at

www.coupons.com
www.smartsource.com
www.redplum.com
www.groupon.com

and then I get my Giant Eagle coupons.

I always use coupons but now I've got more and I can't wait to use them!

Sickies

2011-02-21T08:26:00.002-05:00

We have our share of sickies lately. We've had 4 with fevers over the last week and 5 "out of commission". Kurt and Kaleb are the only 2 that have escaped it. After days of stuck at home doing nothing, I may go crazy by the end of the day! I'm not thinking everyone will be better by tomorrow either. Ugh!

One Less...

2011-02-14T08:49:00.001-05:00

79 kids!!!!!!!

2011-02-07T07:43:00.003-05:00

This weekend was amazing (although a terrible picture of me!). I have never spent this much time with women just talking. In fact, I usually get tired of feeling "on" socially but we talked until late in the night and ALL day Sat until late again. We never turned on the tv or left the house. There were so many amazing women with so much in common. We all have a passion for orphans and God's call to take care of them. We have all had different stories but we all have so much in common. We all had adopted from ET but there was so much more than that. Many had adopted from other countries and through foster care. There was even another mom who had been through a disruption before and now she is a foster mom to smaller children. She currently has a baby boy and a baby girl. She will probably be able to adopt the boy but knows that she is might have to give the baby girl back to the family. She is content to serve however God chooses. She was a great inspiration to me. Some have been called to adopt Down's Syndrome babies because there is such a need. There were 2 Down's babies with us over the weekend. They were such an incredible blessing. They were so content and happy and laid back. They are exactly who God made them and they bring such joy. I am humbled by the things that so many have been through and yet their heart is to continue to serve God no matter how crazy the world sees them. In this, I found women who radiated Christ's love and joy. I want God to use us however He chooses. Our future is an open book for Him to fill in. I can't wait to see what He is going to do!
And oh ya... these 13 moms represent 79 children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I get a little Support?

2011-02-04T07:46:00.002-05:00

When we were 1st in the process of adopting, I found out about a webboard of other christian families that were in the process or had already adopted from Ethiopia. I didn't know what to expect and I had never been a part of an on-line group before but I thought they could at least help me to understand what to expect with the adoption process. I found so much more! For the last three years, this group has been the biggest support group I could have imagined. Adoption (esp. older kids) is complicated. There's so much to know from paperwork to travel tips, to AA haircare, to schooling issues, language and behavior issues. You need to have the advice, prayers and support of other parents who understand. For 3 years, I have gotten to know these people on a very different level and I call them friends. Rona, Addisyn's new mom is from the webboard and everyone on there saw the incredible process of us crying out for help and prayers and Rona stating that she believed God wanted Addisyn in her family. We pray for one another in every stage of this roller coaster ride and we have seen amazing ways God works out His plan with answered prayers and even through heartbreak.
This weekend, a bunch of these moms are getting together in Ill. I am headed there on a road trip in a couple of hours. I only know 2 of them and I actaully feel like I am going on a internet date. I feel like I know so many of these women yet I don't know what half of them look like! I won't know who is who without their username. Some of them know each other better than I know them. I actually feel nervous. It's a very strange sensation.
I love road trips and I am driving about 7 hours so I look forward to the quiet time by myself. I'm going to try to fit in a little stop at IKEA in Chicago :)
Have a great weekend!

An "Ice day"

2011-02-01T19:42:00.004-05:00

Today was a day at home due to ice from "the biggest storm of the century". It didn't seem too bad from my warm house.

Our phone, internet and cable are all out due to my own error (not the weather) so what do we do? We make a huge, all-basement tent and play WII.

Yes- I am "borrowing" a neighbor's internet until we get ours taken care of. I am just not sure what I want to do. I would love to get rid of our bill and find cheaper alternatives, get rid of home phone and decrease our cable but I haven't made any decisions yet. Not sure that after all is done, it will really save us much. I would love to get rid of cable and just go with Netflix through the WII but the truth is- I am very partial to my DVR in my bedroom. I love snuggling with Kurt after the kids are in bed and watching a prerecorded show. Nothing is ever on "live" in the evenings. We are pretty selective and it is nice to actually have something to watch. I'm not sure I want to give that up. We'll see- maybe after a few days of no tv, I will have a better perspective.

Live Openly and Expansively

2011-01-16T08:28:00.007-05:00

When we look at 2010, we evauate. What did we live our life for? Did we make a difference in someone else's life? Did people see the light of Christ in our lives? Regardless of how good or how difficult our lives are, we can live it with God being glorified.

No one I know lives life as filled with passion, love, sacrifice and faith as Katie Davis. Check out her recap of 2010. Her story inspires more than any I know. This is the scripture she has posted on FB...

"People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.

Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!"

2 Corinthians 16:9-13, The Message

Haiti came near

2011-01-13T08:19:00.007-05:00

Haiti has really become a part of our lives. After the earthquake my brother-in-law, David, left to go volunteer. Then my Nic (Kurt's sister) went. They started a non-profit to start working with orphans in Haiti. David then became employed with relief work and has been living there for the past year. Nic goes back and forth doing what she can at the orphanages. Last July, God led them to help a boy, Macken, who had major medical problems. They got an emergency medical visa for him to come to the states and receive the surgeries he needed. He now calls them "mom and dad". They have given up so much to get him the help he needs. David is back in Haiti while Nic is in Florida with Mack recovering from his last VERY difficult surgery. They are raising money to continue to work with the orphans. Kurt plans of going in February to help however he can. Please continue to pray for the people. There has been much recovery but there is still so much pain. Go to Eyes Wide Open, Int for more info on their work.

Here is our "Mack". He is filled with joy, love, humor and strength.

God can use a family who has "disrupted"

2011-01-12T16:49:00.003-05:00

I am in shock right now. God has definately been placing foster care and/or adoption on our hearts again. We are so anxious to begin but not sure yet what road we are supposed to take and we still have to wait until things are done with Addy. I am always drawn towards Asian children and there are several on waiting lists that tug at my heart. I called an adoption agency today to ask them some questions and they told me that they will not even consider allowing any family who has had a disruption to adopt again! I was speechless. Sure, I know it would throw up red flags and might cause some issues but to not even look at our situation?!!! We are just black-listed from adopting! I can't believe it! Apparantly that is the policy with many agencies. So after writing them an email pouring out my heart, I have to once again trust that God has laid this on our hearts and that He will orchestrate what He wants. It's in His hands- not mine and not in any agencies. So... stay tuned to see what doors are closed and what doors He opens.

Brianna's Smile

2011-01-07T22:28:00.004-05:00

Last January started a very difficult time with our now 8 year old daughter, Ayden Brianna. We still don't understand what all was going on but Ayden went through a very dark time and completely shut down. She has always been a very fun, spunky girl, full of life. Last year, she was filled with anger, hurt and sadness. It was very scary. I am so thankful that God has completely restored her joy and we see no remnants of the serious issues we were dealing with. She is full of life, love and joy. Every smile and hug from her is so much more precious than ever before. Last summer, she was tired of "Ayden" being such a popular boy's name and so we decided that if she wanted to go by her middle name, Brianna, that we would support that. So here is my "Brianna."

Inspiring books and New Year Challenge

2011-01-02T11:28:00.007-05:00

Reading has become a very important way that God inspires and directs me. I have spent more time reading in the last 2 years than I have in my entire life. I am challenged, convicted and encouraged by the books God has led me to. I have mentioned some in the past but I want to list some so that others will have an idea of what to read. I think it is intereting that the order I read them in seemed to be the best way for me to read them. Here are my top books from the last few years. I think everyone will be changed by them...

The Strength of Mercy by Jan Beazley- this is an adoption story but it is so much more! It is about God knitting together the details of our lives in His timing. It is about taking leaps of faith and seeing God work everything out in ways you never imagined.

Red Letters by Tom Davis- this is about the world needs that face us and Jesus' command for us to serve those in need.

Dangerous Surrender- Kay Warren. God takes Kay on a journey to open her eyes to the AIDS epidemic. It brings her to her breaking point of surrendering her life to Christ's will no matter how difficult and painful it can be.

Crazy Love- Francis Chan. Our life should be about serving and loving others as Jesus' was. If we truly consider ourselves christians, then the church needs to wake up and be the hands and feet of Christ even when it costs us.

Radical- David Platt- Our life should be radically different than the world's. God calls us to radical things that only through Him we can accomplish. The "American dream" is often in direct opposition of what God's plan is. Most American Christians still want their perfect little family with comfort and security and therefore do not do the things that make us take steps of faith that are risky and leave us at a place where we are completely dependent on God.

What is interesting is that I just came up with these summaries based on my memory of what I got out of these books. You may get something completely different. I have read many more but these are the ones that made the biggest impact on me. I added this list of books and more on the right column with links to them at Amazon.com. Buy a few at once for about $5 each and if you get $25, you don't have to pay shipping! I keep buying copies because I keep giving mine away.

Now... David Platt in Radical challenges us to use Scripture as our primary resource (of course) and read the bible within a year. I have actually never done that before. To tell you the truth... Old Testmanent has always frustrated me so I often avoid it (I know that's bad). I got a new Bible last year that lays it out for a year and so I am going to try. I actually already started early and so far, so good. That's my year's challenge.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T21:40:00.002-05:00

I am so happy to be starting a new year. The first half of this year was a very difficult one and now that we are strengthened again, I know God has more for us "to do" I don't know what that will look like but I can't wait to find out!

Since I posted last, I have had 4 families tell me that they know God is leading them to foster care or adopt! 3 from our church! (shhh... most of them are still keeping it secret) That is HUGE! I know I had nothing to do with it and it's not because of my post (haha) but I am overwhelmed that God is stirring hearts. I am overwhlemed that since I have been praying daily for this, it is starting to finally happen! I had another woman at church tonight tell me that it was as if God audibly said "what are you waiting for... I am telling you to start now!". I cannot wait to start seeing this in action. I cannot wait to see how God is going to transform our little church from the inside out. I cannot wait to start seeing the faces of the new chidren He is going to bring to us! I am expecting BIG things! I am expecting for God to break the hearts of His people and open the flood gates. I already see it happening! I start this year with great anticipation. "Use us, Lord!"

Our "Calling"

2010-12-17T08:33:00.004-05:00

A friend of mine (Traci) just wrote a link to an article writing about how the biggest threat to adoption is the lack of support and preparation adoptive families have when they begin to deal with hard issues that often arise with older child and special needs adoption. To those watching, this can be the thing that scares away potential adoptive families from adopting. To think that some people who have watched us struggle over the past year would decide NOT to adopt because of our struggles, breaks my heart. I want people to know that it can be hard- very hard, but God is in it and God will walk with you through it and that He is showing you things that you would never understand if you didn't go with Him on the journey. We are thankful that in our situation, He miraculously provided a way for everyone (including Addy) to be at peace and thriving again but I know of many other families that know what it is like to choose to love even when it is a daily struggle. There isn't enough support out there and the church needs to rise up and be that support. The truth is- you can never relate unless you have been through it. We can now relate to some of the difficult issues and yet still believe completely in God's divine plan and good will for our life. We want to be that support. I am praying constantly that God will move in our close communities of faith to break the suburban walls and explode with God's people reaching out to those in need with everything they have. I am praying that more families will rise up within our churches to adopt, foster and support those in need. I believe God is going to use our family as that support group to walk along side these families He leads. I believe He has alot more for our family to experience so that we can be an example to others of God's faithfulness. To understand both the good and the hard about it. We know He has called us to future adoptions but we trust in His timing to lead. To be honest, I am totally ready to foster right now but we still have to wait until the legal process is finished with Addisyn. Our story with Addisyn is not one of "failure" or "disruption" but one of God's divine plan being better than our own. I pray that He will use us to support others going through the adoption process.

Shopping with a Purpose

2010-12-14T15:03:00.014-05:00

I love buying presents that make a difference in someone's life. I have spent alot of time finding cool stuff that I can buy for gifts. I thought it might help for me to post them here for anyone still looking. The names of each organization is linked to their sites.

147 Million Orphans

Beads for Life

Project Hopeful

Caroline's Promise

Saint's Coffee

Visiting Orphans

Benefit Orphans

Hope that helps someone. If you are selling something that you want added in the comments, I'll make sure to post it.

RADICAL

2010-12-08T21:09:00.003-05:00

I have just finished reading Radical by David Platt. It is a challenging and exciting book. It is about how the American Dream can be in opposition to the life that God calls us to. God has already been showing us how He wants our life to be radically different. I don't know what that will look like but I know He will lead us one step of faith at a time. I am ready for that next step- whatever that may be.

I dare you to watch this...

2010-12-03T17:49:00.006-05:00

On this journey, God has brought us to this point. We are ready to do what you call us to.

(thanks Traci)

Adoptive Family Targets AIDS Stereotypes (on CBS)

2010-12-03T17:09:00.008-05:00

I am amazed at the way God is opening the doors for christian families who are making a difference in this world to share their story on major media. The family that made the video, Truth Pandemic, had a segment made on CBS evening news with Katie Couric. It was a great interview and shows how God is using families in adoption and with HIV/AIDS education.

The TRUTH about HIV/ AIDS

2010-11-28T09:17:00.006-05:00

You can't be on the journey of international adoption without being faced head on with the devastation that HIV/AIDS has created. As you are on this journey, you become angry with how much pain is caused by something can be prevented and controlled with medications. You start learning that all the fear we had in the 80's in unfounded and that people receiving medications can live long, normal lives. It is NOT transferrable by anything besides shared needles, intercourse or breastmilk. You cannot contract it by normal family relations. There is HOPE for children who have it. What is our part in helping? It starts by being educated and getting rid of the fear. Project Hopeful is a group that helps with education and adoption for HIV positive children. I know many families who have adopted HIV positive kids and the fear I once had is now gone. Watch this video from Project Hopeful and learn the facts.

Need Pictures!

2010-11-27T08:58:00.004-05:00

Since I was wanting to update the blog a little, I really wanted to put some new pictures on it. I went searching since I usually have a ton of pictures. The reality is- I have no pictures of this year! The first 7 months were so miserable that I had no desire to take any pictures. We took a few on vacation and then when we were in Nicaragua, my camera broke so we used Koryn's camera. So... although this year has been huge in many ways (difficulty, battles, despair, miracles, healing, joy) it will not be remembered in pictures. We hope to get a camera for Christmas so that 2011 can again be documented in pics. For now, I just need to find a way to get at least one good picture before the year is out.

Consumer Worship

2010-11-24T10:01:00.005-05:00

Ok-So I was looking for videos for church and found this one. I think it is absolutely hysterically funny but also a very sad reality in the American church today. I pray that this is NOT the reality in my life.

News special on Addisyn's new family

2010-11-20T01:24:00.011-05:00

I want to share with you a great news story that was just done on Addisyn's new family. It is amazing and I'd like you all to watch it. It shows her parents, her siblings, her home and she is in it. Just get ready, though- I have been leery to share with most how many children there actually are in their family because people are naturally skeptical of it being a good situation. I think this video will help you see how God has brought them together and how He can do the impossible and make a family like this thrive.

I keep in regular contact with Rona, Addy's mom, and she is still doing well. The bond between Addy and her siblings from Ethiopia is strong and that seems to be what is making the biggest difference in her ability to mature and cope. I am still constantly amazed how God has knit this all together. It truly is miraculous.

This family is an incredible testimony and God is using them to share His love to more than we can imagine.

Here is the link: Steinhoff Family Make sure you watch the video on the right side instead of reading it. (Watch the entire 7 minutes)

Addisyn and her "new" sisters

2010-10-27T16:59:00.002-04:00

I got this picture from Addisyn's new family and wanted to share it with you. When you see this picture, it helps to see how happy and comfortable she is.

Life is Good

2010-10-19T20:44:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to share that life is really good. Our family is doing really well. Our kids are doing great at school. It is fun to watch my kids play together and enjoy one another. I appreciate their hugs and kisses and just spending time with them. In this past year, these were things that seemed hard to come by. There was so much tension and division and I was struggling. Now I can again appreciate each day. Addisyn is doing really well with her new family. Having older sisters that are from Ethiopia has been an incredible blessing to her. She is running cross-country and doing well. It still amazes me how God has worked everything out.
I am starting to get my "passions" back and am so excited to be going to the Mid- Atlantic Orphan Summit in Pennsylvania next month. I cannot wait to see how God can continue to use us to serve orphans.
I am Missions President at our church and am constantly seeking ways for God to inspire our people to spread Christ's love and Word throughout the world. We went to Nicaragua this summer and it was an amazing experience. I wish I could go on trips all the time. There is nothing like it.

Why Big Families Might Be Easier

2010-09-14T14:26:00.000-04:00

I read this online and really agree with it. Enjoy...

by Matthew Archbold Thursday, February 04, 2010

A woman said to me recently that my five children were very well behaved. It’s one of the best things I can hear so I thanked her. Then she asked me “how do you do it with so many?”

I told her that I don’t think I’d be a very good parent of one child or two. She didn’t believe my answer but honest to goodness, I sometimes think that having many children is easier than just one.

Why big families are easier:

Patience. I never have to teach patience. My children know that I can’t drop everything for them if I have a baby in my arms.

Work Ethic. My children have learned to work because there are always chores to do in a small house packed with little messy lunatics. And they all learn quickly that sometimes they have to clean up a mess even though they didn’t make it.

Humility. My children have learned it’s not always their turn. They’ve accepted they can’t always get their way because other people have to get their way sometimes. They’ve learned that some children are better at certain things than they are.

Foreign language skills. You can learn a lot of Spanish by watching ten years of Dora the Explorer that you just can’t pick up in two. And now with the Diego spin off I’m practically fluent.

Laughter. The children have learned to laugh at the insane non sequiturs of younger siblings. They’ve learned that laughing just feels better when seven people are doing it along with you.

Competition. Do I really need to go into this? Everything is a competition in big families. The children compete over who reads faster, who drinks their milk faster, who gets to the bathroom first…etc. Everything is a competition and they’re all keeping score.

Balance. The floor of the front room of my home is a minefield of toys and childhood paraphernalia. Just walking through the room requires great skill and balance. I’m absolutely convinced my two year old will be a favorite for Gold on the balance beam in the 2016 Olympics. (She might have to lay off the cookies a little but I’ll deal with that later.)

Life isn’t fair. Sometimes you just give it to the baby because you want a little quiet. Not all the time. But sometimes.

Just say “No.” Being able to say “no” may be the most undervalued skill in this world. The need to be liked is pervasive. The need to be cool even more so. Having brothers and sisters teaches children to say “no” about 143 times a day. It’s a good skill.

Praying. They learn that nothing beats praying together as a family.

Nature/Nurture. Having many children has taught me that nature has a lot more to do with who my kids are than nurture. This is helpful, especially when your children misbehave you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just say “Stupid nature!!!” and blame your spouse’s genes.

Namecalling. You can occasionally call your child by the wrong name and still not be considered a terrible parent. They know who you mean just from your tone. Sometimes if you need something done you can call the wrong name and someone will still show up. That helps.

Spying. My children have learned that they can’t get away with anything. I have spies who look a lot like them who are willing to drop the dime on them for anything. Even at school I’ve got a child in just about every grade. If they do something I’ll hear. That keeps them nervous. And I like keeping my kids a little nervous.

Friendship. The children have many friends. They’ve got girly friends, crying friends, fun loving friends, consoling friends, and crazy friends. And they all have the same last name. And they’ll be there forever for each other. No matter what.

Love. I think my children have learned to love because there are others around them to love and who love them. I honestly can think of no better way to teach children to love than siblings.

God's Plan is not our own

2010-08-26T05:32:00.003-04:00

Well, I have struggled to know how to share the big changes that have happened within our family. There is no way for anyone to understand what has happened without details and yet I do not feel it is appropriate to share details out of respect for privacy.
The reality is that Addisyn is no longer living with us. Although many times she was adjusting greatly, this spring, everything fell apart. She was struggling so much that and it was having a negative affect on all of us, especially the other kids.
In July, it became obvious that she needed some things that we could not give her. It was as if God said "I have another family for her". We had never really considered this before because we were completely committed to her and yet we felt like it would be best.
We knew that to find a family for her would be a miracle and that God was going to have to do it.
My webboard family of other adoptive parents knew everything we had been going through and had been praying that God would guide us. I contacted one of the amazing mothers from the webboard who has been involved with finding families for adoptive kids who needed a new family. She instantly responded and said that she felt like God wanted them to take Addisyn! She felt like her family had some of the things that Addy needed to feel secure. I couldn't believe it! We were needing a place for Addy to stay while we went on our missions trip to Nicaragua Rona (mom) said, "can you get her to Wisconsin in 2 days?" We said definately. Kurt drove her up. Addisyn wanted to go. She was miserable here and was excited about meeting this family.

After we returned from Nicaragua, Addisyn did not want to come home. She had quickly bonded with this family and was comfortable there. They had many Ethiopian ties that we did not have. We felt like this was a miracle. She has stayed there since then and we are in the process of giving their family guardianship and then eventually we would relinquish rights to their family.

I know this is hard to understand if you don't know everything that has been happening. I NEVER would have thought this would happen but now we see it was what God had planned all along. We have no regrets. God called us to adopt Addisyn. There were many hard times and many good times with her. She has come so far in the 2 years she has been in our family. Now this family can help her in ways we could not.

Their family is amazing. God has given them the ministry and heart for adoption. They have raised their biological kids already and then they were foster parents for many years and adopted through foster care. They have also adopted kids from Ethiopia. In fact, all their Ethiopian kids are from Addisyn's hometown! They speak her native language! This is incredible because NO ONE on Columbus speaks her language because it is special to her small town. She has 2 wonderful ET sisters that are 14 and 11. They are sweet girls who love the Lord and can be an incredible support to her.
Rona and Rick (the parents) have dealt with many issues with kids and feel like they can help Addisyn work through the issues she was having in our family. Honestly, I believe Rona has already bonded with Addisyn in ways that Addisyn and I never did. This does not make me sad, it makes me happy.

Although this is not what we planned or hoped for, I know God was and is in it. Our family is recovering now and doing well. The kids are fine. The tension and chaos in our home had been huge so they are relieved to have peace again. We all love Addy but are happy to know she is happy and we all believe this is for the best.

Adoption is hard. Older child adoption is harder, but God is in the midst of it. There are no guarantees except that God is with you and it is all for His purposes and His good. It often does not go as we plan but He will bring you though. We have learned so much in our relationship with God but I'll reflect on that another time.

For now, I've got 5 kids to get up and get ready for their 2nd day of school!

Quick update

2010-08-18T08:36:00.002-04:00

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I've posted. Many things have happened but I can't share it all with you yet. Just know that we are doing really well now. God has taken us down a road that we did not expect and His plans were not ours but all is well now. We are praising God for miracles. At some point I will share what has transpired over the summer but it's not quite time yet. Thank you for all your prayers.

Get-away

2010-06-03T09:54:00.003-04:00

We got to get away for a night camping with friends last weekend. Only 4 of the kids were able to go but it was a nice break for all of us.

Prayers needed

2010-05-26T08:54:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't been on much but we continue to have huge battles in our home and each day is a struggle to get through. We keep praying for peace to be restored but Satan is in to destroy us. I can't believe the chaos, anger and hatred that he has brought in our home. We are desperate for prayers, relief and victory from this. It feels like there is an all out attack on many adoptive families, especially ones who have adopted older girls. I can't believe the amount of destruction going on in those families right now. There is so much hurting and disruption and we all need God to perform miracles and see victory. Please pray not only for us but for all the families who have taken this step of faith to do something that the rest of the world considers "crazy". We are desperate for strength, peace and healing.

If you are adopting, watch this...

2010-04-27T19:10:00.003-04:00

Here are some short video clips that help to prepare you for adoption. It is a great educational tool and I really recommend you take time to watch all of them. They are actually short and you can watch them all at once or spread out.
Insights and Gifts Video Series for Adoption

2 Years!!!!

2010-04-20T14:32:00.007-04:00

It's hard to believe but Sat we celebrated Kaleb and Addisyn being home for 2 years!!ieve it has been that long! It's amazing how far they have come. Especially Addisyn. We went to an Ethiopian restaurant which we haven't done very much. The kids all loved it this time and Addiysn was thrilled.
Here's a picture form Ethiopia:

Now... eating her favorite, "dora wat"

Kaleb's adorable little face in Ethiopia
" />

Just for fun...

2010-04-18T15:32:00.002-04:00

Here's just a fun picture to make me smile. The boys were posing like this before I even decided to take a pic. They are too funny.

What happened?!

2010-03-25T13:53:00.003-04:00

I wish I knew. I know I haven't written in a long time. Let me just say that life has been very hard lately. I haven't known what to write and didn't have the strength to try. We believe we are under a spiritual attack. "Satan is a thief who comes to kill, steal and destroy" and that's exactly what he is trying to do to our family right now. He wants the heart and mind of my children and we are in a battle. Kurt and I have tried everything and now that we feel like there's nothing more we can do, we have to stand firm and wait for God's victory. This is very hard when it is regarding your children. Please pray for our family as we long for restored relationships, love and peace in our home again.

Hope for Haiti

2010-02-23T15:04:00.006-05:00

David (my brother-in-law) has been in Haiti since the week of the earthquake as a translator for medical teams. Nicolle (his wife) is joining him in a few weeks with their non-profit organization called "Eyes Wide Open Int'l". They are raising money selling these tees to help fund the ministries they will be doing there to help the Haitians. Please go to her link for more information and go to Wild Olives to buy a t-shirt for you or for the Haitian people.

Snow, snow and more snow

2010-02-09T13:03:00.006-05:00

The snow just keeps coming. I love it as long as I can be warm in my cozy house. We are all being lazy and watched tv all morning and I stayed warm in my bed. I even baked a apple cinnamin bread- I NEVER bake. The snow must bring it out of me.
Sat we got a great day of sledding in. It was a beautiful winter day.

Ballerina Girl

2010-02-02T19:10:00.002-05:00

Ayden has always wanted to do ballet. We finally signed her up at the Y for a little 6 week class. She was so cute. I don't think there will be a big ballet future for her but now she can say she took it. Here was her little recital.

Addy's Cheers

2010-02-02T19:00:00.003-05:00

This week is Addisyn's last week of cheerleading. She is sad it is over and it has been a great experience for her. We are thrilled that her school allowed her to be a part of it.

Going to Haiti

2010-01-21T17:45:00.004-05:00

Our brother-in-law, David, is leaving tomorrow to go to Haiti. He is going as an interpreter with a medical team and they will be staying at an orphanage that is overrun with the needs of the community. Here is the link to Nicole's (Kurt's sister's) blog for her nonprofit. They are needing money donated quickly to help pay for medical supplies. David was laid off from his job several months ago and now sees how God can use him in this tragedy. He plans on staying an entire month. Please be praying for him as he voluntarily steps into the horrific situation and gives of himself to help others. You can get more info at Walk a Mile and find out how you can help.

Helping Haiti

2010-01-21T09:48:00.003-05:00

Another adoptive family is making necklaces to raise money for Haiti. Their blog is To Africa and Home They are only $10.00 and look beautiful.

How to get started with adoption

2010-01-19T09:41:00.004-05:00

I wrote this email to a friend today who is feeling led to adopt. I know I have posted letters like this before but maybe now is the time you need to read it.

The first thing I would recommend is looking into agencies. Get their info and price break downs and criteria for each country. The criteria will eliminate many countries right from the start. Then start praying for God to lead you. I believe all agencies working in different countries have had their struggles and mistakes and you will hear negatives stories about any agency you really look into. I believe most agencies are trying their best but it is a difficult position they are in trying to accommodate American expectations and being provided with 3rd world issues. In the end, I believe God will lead you to the agency that He knows your child will be with. Our agency was CWA and we had a great experience with them but others have not. Regardless, that is the agency we were meant to use. I really like All God's Children and WACAP and Gladney and AAI.

Then you need to look at if you are led to an infant or waiting child. Infants take longer and there are MANY waiting older kids and treatable special needs kids. God led us to older children and we never dreamed we'd adopt a 12 yr old! It is not easy and yet it is what God wanted and He has taught us many things on this path. Most families I know who adopt older kids are shown our own sinfulness, selfishness and weaknesses. It is humbling. Addisyn is doing well but it has not been easy and I have always struggled to bond with her. Kaleb has been so easy and yet he could have been so hard. Even though it is hard, I would do it again and really feel like God will lead us to do it again at some point.

Prices range with agencies and age of child and travel expenses. Don't let that deter you. It is overwhelmingly expensive and we were struggling to make it financially with 4 kids and had no money for the adoption. God told us to do it anyway. he provided about $22,000 in 10 mths through fundraisers, families, friends and a grant. It was a miracle. The month to month is much harder but we are dependent on God each month to make it and somehow we do. We have learned to live much more on faith instead of our own means.

Ethiopia- I have learned so much about Ethiopia. It is a wonderful country with wonderful people and children. One big thing that I think is important to know when looking at Ethiopia is that many of the children do have living parents. Often a single parent cannot provide for their child and they feel their only hope for them is to be adopted and come to America. In our minds, this is not an orphan but UNICEF states that an orphan is child who has lost one or both parents. Many people feel confused when the "orphan" they are adopting has been living with their parent until you accept the referral for this child. That was the case with Addisyn. We didn't know this when God showed us clearly that she was the one we were to adopt. We said "Ok" and then we learned that she was still living with her mother. That is a difficult thing to wrestle with. Now we know how much her mother loved her and that she was a great, Godly mother. She didn't want to give up her child but after many people prayed with her, she felt God give her a peace that it was what He wanted. We can't even imagine. I don't understand it all but I KNOW that God wanted her in our family. I can't imagine their loss but it is AMAZING how well Addisyn has dealt with it. When you think about it- many US kids up for adoption have living parents also. Many new moms choose to give up their children because it is what is best for all. Many older kids are up for adoption because their parents could not provide the loving nurture and care that they should have. It really is not much different but I think it helps to know going into it that these are things you will have to deal with. Then again- there are many double orphans, like Kaleb,whose parents died of AIDS and had nowhere to live and no one to love him. God will lead you to the child and give you the strength to deal with whatever baggage they bring with them.

The other thing to know is "BE PREPARED FOR THE BIGGEST ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF YOUR LIFE" I guarantee you will have the highest highs and the lowest lows of your life on this journey- both before and after. God will show you your weaknesses and His strenghs. It is scary and exciting but it will teach you to be dependent on Him the whole way. Get a support group that will help you deal with all of it. I am part of a christian web board for Ethiopian adoptive parents and it has been essential. It gives you help from everything from paperwork to schooling, how to do their hair, treating common illnesses and behaviors and praying for each other. No one can relate to your journey except another adoptive parent.

So- I hope this helps. Ask me questions anytime. I want to encourage everyone to adopt but I also want to be honest about the realities so you are better prepared. It is the heart of God and your faith in Him will be increased.

Parenting 101 "Love"

2010-01-12T14:31:00.003-05:00

I have been frustrated lately with how much bickering and selfishness has been going on in our family. I know siblings arguing and grumpy people are normal but I don't want to be normal. I don't want our kids to fight over things or speak to each other rudely. I know most parents say "it's just life" but I'm tired of it. I am the worst offender. I have realized how much I am yelling at the kids and being very impatient. I have a couple kids who have become their own "clique" in our family and it leaves the others out. I tried to seperate them and guilt them into understanding this but it only works for a few minutes and then it continues- then I get mad and it just isn't helping. We had a family devotional time this weekend to address many of the issues we are seeing. I also just got the book, Shepharding a Child's Heart by Tripp. It talks about the fact that you can't just address the behavior, you have to identify the heart issues. We read scriptures about God commanding us to Love Him and then Love Others. This includes their siblings! Then we talked about what it means to love-
Love is kind and patient,
never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
Love isn't selfish or quick tempered.
It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

This is how I want our family to treat one another. So we are addressing any behavior that does not line up with this. First off- they will go to their room until we can talk to them privately about the matter and they can come up with something kind to do for the person they've offended. We are saying "what do they want?" and "how do they feel?" often to try to teach them to think of each other first. We spent alot of time in bedrooms this weekend! I can't tell you how much it has affected me and my attitude. We have had a much more peaceful few days.

Cleaning

2010-01-07T14:10:00.004-05:00

Alot of people have asked how my cleaning business is going and amazingly, I say "great!". Never in a million years would I have thought I would clean other people's houses. I have a hard enough time cleaning my own! Our entire marriage, I have made Kurt clean our bathrooms because it made me want to throw-up. Well- I had to get over that quickly. You've got to do what you've got to do! Within a month of starting in the fall, I had my 3 days a week booked. I couldn't believe the response from family and friends that I got. It was SO HARD at first. I was slow to begin with and houses take so much longer the first time. It took me 4-6 hours for the typical house the first time. I've never cleaned that many hours at one time in my life! I was sore and exhausted but pushed through. It is SO MUCH EASIER and faster now. When you are cleaning a house every 2 weeks- it doesn't take tons of scrubbing- just wiping down. (Now if I could get it done that often in my house!) I get paid a flat rate per house and now that I am getting houses done in2.5-4 hours, it is definately good pay for the time worked. I am able to go after I take my last 2 kids to school, and then am home between 12 and 2 so I can still take care of things and work with Addisyn's schooling some more. I actually can't believe how well it has worked out. I could not have planned any other job that pays me as well with the flexibility it gives me. It's a good thing God's plans are better than my own! SO... am I tired of cleaning toilets? Not really- I am thankful that I have income and the time to spend on the things that are more important to me.

Christmas Joy

2010-01-06T14:55:00.005-05:00

Our kids were involved in a great little musical at church. Nothing is more fun for a parent than their kids in a program. Koryn sang beautifully and was a natural on the stage (she didn't get that from me!) Bryce has his own little part as a wise man and the other kids just sang with big smiles.

Slacker...

2010-01-05T14:44:00.003-05:00

For the first time EVER, we stayed home for the Christmas break. Even when we are in Columbus, we spend most of our time with Kurt's family. It is always great but I had no idea what it was like to go nowhere! My parents came up here and since my mom's leg is hurt and needs a knee replacement, we couldn't get out much. Kurt and I have NEVER spent an entire week not working and being in our own home. It was a mixture of wonderful and stir crazy but all in all, it was very relaxing. We actually managed to get the kids to stay in bed until at least 8:30 every morning. I haven't slept in that long in years!
I am happy that everyone is back to school and routines, though. Everyone needs a break from being surrounded by each other.
There is much to blog about but this is the first time I have been motivated to do it. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!

Let it snow!

2009-12-19T17:12:00.001-05:00

"Blossoming"

2009-12-16T10:09:00.004-05:00

This year has been such a major turnaround for Addisyn. Her experience at the Christian school has finally given her friends and opportunities to stretch herself in a safe place. She is cheering and I honestly did not think she had the ability or the coordination to do it and yet she is doing an great job. She looks so cute in her uniform and it is doing wonders for her social skills, coordination and her ability to memorize. The girls and coach are amazing and spend the extra time she needs helping her.
Last night, Addisyn had her first choir concert. It was her first time to be on a stage, to be in front of that many people, the first time to sing for others, the first time to wear a dressy dress(which we got on clearnace for $13!). She was so excited and nervous. She had alot of fun and looked beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving! (I know... I'm a little behind)

2009-12-13T08:03:00.005-05:00

We celebrated Thanksgiving with Kurt's family this year. We also got to celebrate Christmas with them at the same time. Kurt's brother and family came home and that is always special because we only spend time with them a couple times a year. Also, we were so excited to see our niece who Addisyn and Kaleb had never met. It was especially good for Addisyn becasue she's always known she has a cousin "who has the same skin and hair color" as her. She even braided Addisyn's hair which hasn't been done in 1.5 years! Addisyn was so thrilled to have someone that knew how to do her hair. It's not just about the braids for her, it's a huge part of her bonding. Unfortunately, this has been an area where I have failed miserably. It's all just another puzzle piece being put together in Addisyn's life.

The grandkids together (just missing Sarah)There's always got to be one cryer.

Aren't the boys cute? It's a reverse Oreo!

Our 2 princesses

Puzzle time

Love like Jesus

2009-12-08T13:46:00.002-05:00

I know this has probably been the longest time in the last 2 years that I haven't added a post. Life is so busy but good. We are all doing well and we are in the middle of all the Christmas programs at school for the kids.
At church, we are focusing on giving of ourselves instead of giving stuff. We showed this promo Sunday.
What I would like to share for this Christmas...

Worship Fully
Buy Less
Give More
Love like Jesus

Fall Fun

2009-11-24T20:54:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, we went to Hocking Hills and spent a great "Fall" day together. Hiking around outside is definately our family's favorite activity.

Here's a few pics.

A Greater Capacity

2009-11-19T21:01:00.006-05:00

Promo for "3 by 3 by 3" Documentary from David Watson on Vimeo.

One of the blogs and families that have always inspired and encouraged me is the Weimer family. They had 3 bio kids that look amazingly like our kids and then while we were going through the process of adopting, they came home with a sibling set of 3. Then shortly after we got home, they went back for 3 more! Yes- you've got that right- They went from 3 to 6 to 9 kids! They messed up their birth order both times. She posted on her blog these words recently...

"Every day I receive emails from potential adoptive parents and post-adoptive families asking for advice, support, feedback, direction, and information regarding adoption. It thrills us to be able to point people in the right direction, advise families in the process, and pray for those who are preparing to live out James 1:27. This is the ministry God has given to us, and we are stoked. Our vision is to serve as full-time adoption advocates, and we are making real steps in that direction. Soon we will be operating through our We Have Room web site, which will act as a resource for those stepping into the adoption world, those who are just getting their feet wet, and those who are swimming in the post-adoption sea, sometimes raging and sometimes of glee. We feel honored to be able to be used even in just a small way and to let others know, "Hey, we've been there."

One email that I receive a few times every week sounds a little something like this: "Heidi and Kirk, Your story has been very encouraging to us, as we also feel led to adopt older kids or a sibling group, but I am just very scared of what it might do to our family, how it will affect our current kids, and what kind of short- and long-term implications it might have. Can you tell me how your biological kids adjusted to being knocked out of their birth order? How did your oldest feel about no longer being the oldest? I'm afraid I'm going to be taking away from them something that is legitimately theirs and I'm scared of what that will do to their emotions/personality/self-worth/security/what-have-you. I'm afraid they will feel ripped off."

To each and every person reading this post who knows the concrete conviction of being called to care for the older orphans yet also bears the weight of the accompanying thoughts of fear, I want you to know this...Please hear me loud and clear, as we have now SIX times over displaced our "original" kids' birth order:

You are NOT taking anything AWAY from your birth children. Instead, what you are doing is imparting to them something eternal: You are expanding their capacity to love. Think about that for a minute before you read anything else. How do you plan to teach your child to love others unconditionally and in total compassion without giving them the opportunity to do so? I'm telling you now, You CAN'T.

My biological children have a greater capacity of love in their hearts than I could ever impart to them by just giving them a safe Christianity, by maintaining their status quo, by simply modeling "godliness" as parents (as if that's the end-all be-all for a Christian family). My kids...all of them...have lived out self-sacrifice and understand (because they live it!) that laying down one's life does not steal anything from us. That is the lie of the devil, who would have us believe that sacrifice is not worth it; that there is nothing for us in return; that God doesn't really mean what He says when He said to His followers that "anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. [Because] Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:38-39).

Do you really believe that? That whoever LOSES his life for Jesus's sake, for Jesus the Orphan's sake, will actually FIND it? Ask yourself honestly. Because you might answer YES prematurely. I have no doubt that you might believe it for yourself, but do you really believe it for your children, too? That if they "lose" their "place" in the family that Jesus will instead impart to them LIFE? REAL life???

What is birth order anyway but just a sequence of how your child came to you? Let's not make an idol of that sequence. Because that's what it becomes...an IDOL. Something standing in the way of you taking up the Cross to follow Him, to BE JESUS in this world. Let's not place a value on birth order that God did not intend to be there.

Consider the older orphan. Consider the sibling groups. Consider the ones who are not often considered.

And whatever you do on your adoption journey, PLEASE I beg you, do NOT steal from your children the opportunity for their love capacity to be expandedDo not deny them the true gift of learning early in life that "My life is not my own."

When your feisty and spunky 7-year-old biological daughter, who is now the middle child of 9 after being knocked down to #5 from #2, pleads "Please, Mommy, Please!!! I want another sister my age!!! Can we PLEASE adopt again?!!," your heart will beat out of your chest, not just because you can envision another child saved, but because you know that your daughter will NEVER EVER live a limited, safe Christianity. She won't even know what that means. In fact, she won't even have the capacity do so.

And all because you didn't limit her, either. You didn't limit God.

Give your children the gift of the greater capacity to love. Let it ripple out into the future. Let it change the world."

They are making a documentary and here is the promo. You will be amazed. They are everyday people just like you and me.

Soccer- a little late

2009-11-19T20:40:00.002-05:00

I never got soccer pics on here for Ayden, Bryce and Kaleb. They got to play on the same team again this year. They are fun to watch. Bryce LOVES soccer and puts everything into it. Kaleb is naturally really good. Ayden is great when she's not socializing and playing with her hair. They all have a blast.

Quick Get-a-way

2009-11-15T21:08:00.006-05:00

Last week, Kurt and I got a fun little "get-a-way". Kurt's group at work was getting a national award. It was R&D 100 (Research and Development). His group was able to manipulate the properties of soy to use as a filler in plastic. (this is the description for "dummies" like me) Only 100 awards were given in the US and this was one of them. It was very cool. Many of the awards were advances using renewable resources and new medical technology. One of the coolest was the artificial retina. It has exciting potential.
It was a great hotel and we rented a fun little 2-door car. The only downside was that the only full day we were there, it was cold and rainy. Besides that, it was a fun little trip.

147 million orphans

2009-11-09T11:17:00.005-05:00

I think yesterday went really well. It was our first time to do somethinglike that and it was the most I've ever spoken in front of people. I had all my notes ready but then I hardly used them. I felt like the first service went really well but I felt a little more scatter brained the second service. The kids did great with their part and it seemed like people responded well. I hope some seeds were planted and that it will encourage our church to do more for orphans and others in need.

I also wanted to share that I ordered the necklaces from 147millionorphans.com. I LOVE it! It is my favorite thing I own right now. It is very long so I wrap it 4 times. It is beautiful and I get tons of comments on it so I get to share the story.
Each one bought feeds a child for 1 week! They are $22.95 and would make great meaningful christmas presents.

http://147millionorphans.com/more-stuff/ugandan-magazine-beads

Orphan Sunday

2009-11-07T23:51:00.005-05:00

It is almost midnight and I am finishing up with preparing for what i am going to share at church tomorrow. It is our first ever Orphan Sunday and we've got big plans. We've got 11 kids who are going to be sharing all the stats and scriptures about orphans with our congregation. We are doing a special slide presentation (not the video below) that is pretty heavy but reality. I am going to share what God has led on my heart. This is a pretty big thing for me since I am not a public speaker and it makes me VERY nervous. I am trying so hard right now not to let myself panic. I do believe that God wants me to share so please pray that I will have peace and not anxiety and that God will speak through me. I'd also really like to get some sleep tonight :)

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

and the Student of the Month is...

2009-11-05T07:29:00.002-05:00

KALEB. His first month in kindergarten and the little guy is student of the month. They are making it a very big deal this year and had the parents there when they presented the kids. It was a bit emotional (even for me:) to think about how far he has come (literally). He is such a good, smart, sweet, fun boy and he would probably be living on the streets if God had not led us to adopt him last year. I wasn't able to get a picture yesterday but I'll put up a random picture of him.

We're all in this Together

2009-10-31T20:45:00.000-04:00

Candy, candy, everywhere

2009-10-29T20:08:00.005-04:00

I love Trick or Treating in our neighborhood. It's always fun and we have lots of kids all out-and-about. Here's our beauties...
Pirate and Karate Kid

Our Indian Princess

Cat Woman

Our Fashion Model

Our little fairy

A Great Weekend

2009-10-25T20:52:00.003-04:00

Since the kids had Thursday and Friday off from school, we had planned on going camping for a little mini vacation. With everyone getting the flu Tuesday and Wednesday, we had to change plans. Thankfully, the flus didn't last long and all 6 kids had it by Wednesday so we were able to do day trips to enjoy the weekend. Friday we went to Olentangy Caverns. The kids loved it and it was their first cave experience. Then we went to the $1 theatre in the afternoon.
Saturday, we went to COSI (kids science museum). Thanks to Kurt's parents, we had a pass this year so I've been able to take the kids several times but Kurt has never been. It was really fun and we enjoyed another day. Today we headed to Hocking Hills. We stopped on our way at a Pumpkin Farm. It was all you can carry for $20. so we loaded Kurt up. Then we headed to Tar Hollow, Ash Cave and Rockhouse. It was a very fun and full day. I have pictures from each day except today. I'll post today's later.

7 Down... I'm the only one left

2009-10-21T18:23:00.002-04:00

Yesterday morning, the school called to let me know that Ayden had a fever and I needed to come get her. By the time Bryce came home, he had a fever. Addisyn coughed all night and sometime during the night, we realized Brooklynn was fevered. Kurt was miserable with a head cold (i think flu but he won't admit it)so he stayed home with the 4 sick kids and I worked and we sent 2 off to school. Just a couple of hours ago, the last 2 got their fevers. So, if you are counting, that's 7 sickies (5 with fevers) in our house. I am the only one not sick. The kids don't have school the next 2 days so we were planning on going camping for a few days. I guess that's not happening. SO sad... :(

Fall... hiking and apple picking

2009-10-15T15:13:00.004-04:00

I try not to complain about the weather but I am So tired of it raining. I feel like all I have done this winter (ok- that's funny... I meant to write fall) is sit through cold, rainy soccer games. Soccer games are fun- watching in the rain= not fun. So anyway, last weekend, we tried to take advantage of some time with it not raining. We went hiking and had the best time. I truly think our family is the happiest when out on a hike.
The next day, we tried to go apple picking after church. I put the kids in fall clothes so we could get great pictures but by the time we got there, the orchard was closed and it was cold and overcast. They had bags of apples out for sale with the "honor system" so we bought a bag and took pics in front of an apple tree. Since it was pretty cold- everyone seemed just as happy.

the road less traveled

2009-10-11T10:50:00.002-04:00

There is a blog that I follow that I got connected with through Katie's blog. It is a story of a family that is adopting a little girl from Uganda and has many difficult things to deal with through the process. She wrote something that I wanted to share. Here are Stephanie's words,

"Adoption is the road less traveled and there is a reason for that. IT is a TRAGEDY. For domestic adoption, there is a birthmother that is leaving a child behind...HEART WRENCHING. For International adoption, (typically) a child has been abandoned, and his/her heart KNOWS that and LONGS for a mommy and daddy. IT IS NOT EASY and prepare for your heart to BREAK several times along the road. If you want to feel the Lord's presence more than ever, see the face of Jesus in a child, and experience the HEARTBEAT of Christ TAKE the road less traveled. I've done it three times and will be FOREVER changed."

Read more of her story at Joining the Journey.

This stinks...

2009-10-10T08:47:00.002-04:00

This is a marathon weekend and we had a birthday sleepover for Ayden last night and tonight is Bryce's. Three kids have soccer games at 10 and we were supposed to get together with friends we haven't see in 15 yrs this afternoon. Well- wouldn't you know- I am sick. I have been having problems all week and finally went to the Dr yesterday after I spiked a fever and was having problems breathing. Well- I have the flu and a bacterial infection. I am banished to my room for the birthday parties and we are obviously not getting together with friends today. Kurt is getting ready to take all the kids to the soccer game and I am home. No fun! At least Kurt is the best husband and dad EVER and is taking care of everything and everyone himself (including a birthday party for 8 little girls).

Calamari anyone?

2009-10-08T14:17:00.002-04:00

Today we took Bryce out for lunch for his birthday (which is tomorrow). It's our new tradition this year of just Kurt and I taking the birthday kid out to lunch on a date. Bryce chose Japanese Steak House (I know... expensive taste). Kurt and I were thrilled because we love it also but rarely go because it is just too expensive for our family. Bryce was so excited and he wanted to try something new so he ordered calamari and loved it. He's our little seafood boy (just like his dad). Next week, we'll take Ayden out- her restaurant pick is Subway (too funny!) Twins are so fun!

SCORE!

2009-10-06T20:42:00.002-04:00

Addisyn scored her first goal in soccer tonight! She was so excited. She started out the season so timid and she's made so much progress. The team has been wonderful with her and helped her so much. She is still trying to understand rules and positions but she has come so far. After their win on Sat, they made a pyramid and she had no idea what was going on, she just climbed up when someone told her to. Another first...

Letter from Ethiopia

2009-10-01T07:29:00.003-04:00

As many of you may remember, we wrote letters and sent pictures to the orphanage in Soddo last spring hoping that Addisyn's mom would get them. We just received a letter back from her yesterday. It was beautiful and perfect. She thanked us and told Addisyn not to worry about her- that God was taking care of her and that she was so happy that God was taking care of Addisyn and her American family. As Addisyn read it, she just kept saying "my mom is live". It was an incredible relief to her. She is filled with emotions because she is so happy to hear from her but it brings back floods of memories and she really misses her. She talked last night alot about the last times she saw her mom and saying goodbye. I can't even imagine what that was like for either of them. Her mom truly loved her- her only hope for her future and life was in America.
Today she is very happy and can't wait to share her letter with teachers and friends. The letter was an incredible blessing.

Scrapbooking again

2009-09-29T14:01:00.002-04:00

This weekend, I pulled out my scrapbooking stuff, made a mess in the LR, and spent the entire weekend scrapping. It has been way too long! I used to keep up, but this year, I've only done it once in the last 9 months. I let the kids do pretty much whatever they wanted in the rest of the house as long as they let me work in the LR. It was so fun and I got about 40 pages done! I think that's pretty amazing (if I can say so myself). I am still "in the mood" so on days I am not cleaning houses, I am trying to get a little done during the day. Now if I could just afford to get all the pictures developed that I took over the last year...

busy, busy, busy

2009-09-24T19:00:00.002-04:00

Not posting much right now because we are so busy. We drive Addisyn back and forth to Cypress 3x a day, we have 4 kids in soccer and 1 in gymnastics and piano, I am working cleaning houses, and I am homeschooling in between it all. It's going well. I will post soccer pics as soon as I take some. I wanted to tonight but it was raining. I'll get to it ASAP.

Visit Orphans

2009-09-15T12:07:00.000-04:00

Freed to Visit Orphans from Together for Adoption on Vimeo.

a review of the week

2009-09-12T11:23:00.002-04:00

Well- this was my first week of really getting an idea what life will be life for the next year. It went really well. I spent hours on Sunday coming up with the homeschooling schedule and preparing for each day.
Addisyn started classes on Tuesday and just LOVED the kids. She kept talking about how nice everyone is and how they all helped her. By Thursday, the school requested that she also take Bible with her class and I agreed just warning them that she would not understand or be able to keep up with the academic part of it and they said that was fine. I am so glad they did. She loved it. The kids helped her look up verses and then they got in a circle to pray and each one of them prayed for her and thanked God she was there. That was very special to her.
She started playing soccer Tuesday. I sent her to just watch but 2 kids were hurt and so they played her most of the game! I was so shcoked and nervous. She was timid and didn't know where to go and the kids were so patient with her and just pointed where she should go. She got a few kicks in when the ball came directly to her but was too intimidated to do too much going after it. She was so excited she got to play and can't wait to play again.
Each day is planned out in detail with lots of transporting since she has to go back and forth 3 times each day. Twice for classes and once for soccer. I am so thankful for friends that are helping with this!
I started cleaning houses last Friday and also this Wed and Friday. It went really well. Other people helped transport her and Brooklynn to preschool and then I did it all on Tuesday and Thursday. Cleaning houses is so much easier now that when I did my "trial runs". I actually enjoy the time alone listening to my music and feeling productive.
Teaching Addisyn has started out well. She is trying very hard and wants to do well. Most of what we are doing now is review so it is not hard. I'm sure it will get much more challenging for her and I when it comes to new stuff.
Thursday was my craziest day. Not only was I taking her back and forth but she also had an appointment in the afternoon, a soccer game, Bryce, Ayden and Kaleb all had soccer practice, Kurt had praise team practice and and Koryn had her first gymnastics class. "Soccer mom" doesn't even begin to represent what I am right now. Thankfully, it's all fun stuff.

and now my baby....

2009-09-09T18:57:00.003-04:00

and my last baby started preschool today for the last time (sniff, sniff). You've gotta love that cheesy smile.

Here's the picture of Addisyn I promised yesterday. She's wearing pink, of course!

Another first

2009-09-08T14:48:00.002-04:00

Well, Addisyn started today at her new school. She LOVED it. She kept talking about how nice the kids were and how excited they were to meet her. I am thrilled. This is exactly what she needed. She rides with the soccer team tonight to a game. I took pictures this morning and I want to get a little video tomorrow to post so I'll add it soon.

Letter to Addisyn's new class

2009-09-06T13:34:00.002-04:00

I am so excited for Addisyn to get to start some classes on Tuesday. I am doing it more for the socializing than anything. I am praying that she will make some friends that will take her under their wing. Although she is supposed to be going into the 7th grade, we all thought it would be better for her to be with the 6th graders for many reasons. I have heard they have a really sweet group of girls so I am excited to see where this goes. I wanted to prepare the kids for her so they understood where she is coming from. I think this is better because they will understand why she is quiet and doesn't understand everything that is going on. It also will help prevent some awkward conversations like "if you have a mom, why are you adopted" or "isn't america so much better than Ethiopia?" These things are well meaning but would be difficult for Addisyn to know how to respond. I asked Addisyn if I could give them this letter and let her read it and she really liked it. I think it relieved some pressure for her. Here is what I wrote:

Dear 6th graders,

Beginning Tuesday, my daughter, Addisyn will be joining your class for a few of your extra classes each day. I want to tell you a little about her before she begins.
First of all, we adopted her from Ethiopia last April. Her father died and her mother was very poor and hoped that she would have a better life if someone in America would adopt her. We always knew that God wanted us to adopt from another country and when we saw her picture on a photolist of waiting children, we knew she was the one that He wanted us to adopt. We never dreamed we’d be adopting a 12 year old!
It was very hard for her to leave Ethiopia but she was very brave and left her mother and sister, her language and the only country she had ever known. When she came last year she did not know any English. She has learned so much but it is still hard for her to understand what people are saying. She loves to talk but gets embarrassed easily because there are so many words she doesn’t know yet.
Life here is so different for her. In her small town in Ethiopia, she had no car and they lived in a small mud house. She had no electricity or running water. They had to walk very far to carry their water and even then the water was not clean. She had few clothes and never had a choice in what she wore or the style or color. She just wore what she had.
Disease was very common there and people often died. She was even sick often and had malaria for quite awhile.
Even though she is happy in America, she still loves Ethiopia. She is still trying to figure out life here. She is learning what it is to be an American teen. I am hoping that you will all be a part of teaching her not only what an American teen is, but also show her the love of Christ. I am praying that God will give her some special friends from your class. I am sure that she will be shy and embarrassed at first so it will take time for her to feel comfortable around you. I have heard great things about your class and am sure that you will have the love and patience to help her along.
I wish she could be with you all day, but because school was so different in Ethiopia, she has not learned all the wonderful things you all know yet. I am teaching her at home to try to help her catch up on all the things she has missed. In the meantime, she will get to share art, choir, and chapel with you and then she will even be playing on the soccer team.
I hope this is a great year for you all and I am excited Addisyn will get to be a part of it.
Thank you!
Kayla

quick update

2009-09-03T13:46:00.001-04:00

Addisyn gets to start taking art, choir, lunch and soccer on Tuesday. WooHoo. Now to start getting the schedule and transportation figured out.

In Limbo

2009-09-03T09:24:00.002-04:00

We are really in limbo right now. Brooklynn hasn't started preschool yet and I start cleaning houses Friday. We still haven't heard if Addisyn can take some classes at the christian school or not and I don't have her actual curriculum yet so I am just doing lots of basic "filler" activities. I am feeling very stir crazy and can't wait to get our schedule set and start it. Right now, I am having a hard time filling our time and yet don't feel the freedom to go do fun things either. I really hope we hear from the school quickly because that makes a HUGE difference in what we do and what our schedule will be. For now... I am just trying to make it to next week and hopefully then I can get more structured and we will know how things will be.

Day one of "homeschooling?"

2009-08-31T19:22:00.004-04:00

Well- today was a little bit of homeschooling. I still don't know if Addisyn can go to the "extra" classes at the kids' school so it is hard to come up with a schedule right now if she is going to be gone a couple of hours in the middle of each day. I am doing an online assessment of what levels she is on with a program called ACE. After doing math and english, she is right where I thought... 2nd grade. She passes some areas of second grade but not others. She cannot pass any of 3rd grade sections. Now I can order workbooks through them for the areas she did not pass in second grade and focus on those and then I can start 3rd grade curriculum. Tomorrow she will do the last 2 subjects and then we'll go from there. I like organizing so this is actually the fun part for me. Today went well. Since Addisyn never developed the skills needed to put a puzzle together, we are going to do a puzzle a day. When she first came, she could not do ANY puzzles- not even basic wood preschool puzzles. Somehow the spacial and matching skills were never developed. She is much better now but even a 6o piece puzzle is frustrating for her so we will work up to that.
Jen- I would love to try that science curriculum you suggested. Please let me know how I can borrow it from you.
I had her go run around the block today for some exercise. I timed her and was amazed when she returned in less than 3 minutes! I thought I had to have remembered the start time wrong so I had her do it again- still less than 3 minutes! I've got to get that girl into a sport!
I need a very easy (and cheap) bible curriculum. Any suggestions?
I also realized really quickly how much I wish we had a computer just for her (and the kids) to use. Hoping we can maybe get a second hand one at some point.
So all in all, it was a good day.

A New Link

2009-08-30T12:21:00.003-04:00

I am home sick today from church. Not sure what the issue is but my stomach and head are both hurting. So... I am on the computer. I hope many of you follow Katie's blog from Uganda. If not, I have a link on the left called Amazima Ministries. Among other things, she is working with a tribe there that has nothing. One of the many ways she is helping is by giving them work making necklaces that are being sold here. I added today a link to the website where you can order one of these necklaces and many other things that contibute to her ministries. It's under Amazima Ministries and is called 147 million orphans. Take a look. Also, if you haven't seen Katie's latest post from yesterday, please take a moment to read it.

here we go...

2009-08-28T09:18:00.006-04:00

I think it looks like I will be homeschooling Addisyn. I have been waiting for her to get into the charter school which starts Tuesday but the closer it gets, the more I have had to think about what I will do if she doesn't get in. It looks like she can take extra classes at the other kids christian school and even be able to play on their soccer team if we get her signed up right away. At this point, I hate even waiting 3 more days to make the decision because I hate for her to lose time that she could be already involved at their school. I like the idea of her making friends there and having that influence. I love the idea of her playing on a sports team. I just still don't like the idea that I am responsible for teaching her the important stuff. I cannot do it on my own. I do not have the ability, the patience or the desire so God will have to do it COMPLETELY through me. I am just ready to have it decided and go with it. Say a prayer for us! I'm not sure where this leaves us for the next few days. I am going to call the kids' school to try to make arrangements with them. Then if the charter school calls in the next few days... I have no idea what i will do. I'll keep you updated.

First Day

2009-08-26T10:26:00.004-04:00

4 kids off to school today. I am so grateful for a great school to send them to. They were all excited and ready.

Thankful

2009-08-23T21:29:00.003-04:00

Again, God has provided for us in an amazing way. Each month gets harder for us and we seem to get farther and farther behind on our bills until God intervenes. Today, at church, we were anonymously given $1000.00! I can't tell you how much we needed that just to pay overdue bills. God always provides even when it seems like it is the last possible minute. He likes to let us "sweat it out" before He gives us just enough to get us through to the next month and stay dependent on Him. Thank you, Lord, for all the people that help us. We are so blessed!

Dedicated

2009-08-22T09:31:00.005-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, we had Addisyn, Kaleb and Brooklynn dedicated at church. We decided to wait to have this done after Addisyn and Kaleb could speak English and could understand what what was going on. Somehow in the business of life, Brooklynn was not dedicated before now either so when we had all the grandparents together at once, we did it. Unfortunately, I forgot to hand my camera to someone to take a pic during the dedication so we waited until we got home to take pictures. We wore our Ethiopian clothes since they have such a pride in them and it gave us an opportunity to wear them again for this special day. Then the girls added a crown to the individual pictures. We didn't end up with a good group shot so it's just the kids.

"last week of summer break photos"

2009-08-18T09:19:00.005-04:00

All summer we have been able to enjoy the YMCA pool. We joined the Y during the adoption process and I am so glad we did! It has been incredible to able to excercise and work out with friends and take advantage of the classes and pool. The kids love going and it is a great stress reliever for me. Here is some shots of our last week at the pool.

Ayden and Bryce both got back to school haircuts. Ayden isn't so sure she likes hers but we all think it is adorable and perfect for her spunky personality. Bryce wanted his hair cut short and it was traumatic for me. I LOVE his wild long hair but it was time and I have to say that I like it. It can lay down but he is obsessed with making it stick up. It is a major difference and very cute and just reaffirms that he is his daddy's son.

Must Read...

2009-08-15T14:28:00.003-04:00

I know I have referred to Katie's blog several times before but I cannot stress enough how this young girl's life affects so many people. Her life is an example of complete surrender and dependence on God- to love as He does. I know this is long but here's a summary of her calling and life so far. Please take the time to read and then check out her blog: kisses from katie, otherwise known as "the journey". Her life will help you gain perspective on yours.

"It is my 16th Birthday and I am eating sushi at my favorite restaurant with my parents when I tell them that I would like to explore the possibility of taking a year in between high school and college to do mission work. This is unheard of in my family and they say they are not sure and will think about it. I am nervous, but somehow I know it is right. He changes their hearts.

I have just turned 18 and find an orphanage online. I beg my parents to let me visit over break, just three weeks. A month later I am on a plane. I am so excited. I am so scared of being, but I know He is going with me. I fall in love.

I graduate high school having made the commitment to teach Kindergarten for a year at a school in The Middle of Nowhere, Uganda. In August I get on the plane. I’m apprehensive and I cry most of the way because I miss my Mommy and my boyfriend. I am eager, but so uncertain. I trust Him. I teach 138 children how to speak English and to love Jesus.

It is October and I am just not sure I can do it anymore. I live in the smallest room I have ever seen in the back of a pastor’s house. I am more uncomfortable than I had bargained for. No one understands, not people here, not people at home. I am tired. But I am prideful and I am not going to quit. I don’t like this. But I know He has a plan. I learn, I grow, He is there.

It is December and God has spoken very clearly about opening a ministry that sponsors 40 of the orphaned children in the village where I am working. This involves moving into a different house, ALONE. It is big and I cannot imagine how God will fill it up. I am lonely and I am anxious. But I am still trusting. He fills the house, and we now have 400 children sponsored.

It is January and I am looking at a little girl, crushed under a brick wall with no one to care for her or her younger siblings. I offer to take the three home with me until we find them a better placement. I am not really sure what to do with them, but I know they are God’s children. They stay.

It is three days later and the littlest looks at me and calls me mommy. My heart might break in two. Something clicks. I am even more scared than I was the day I stepped on that plane, but I KNOW. Today I have 13.

I have to deliver a baby, give a boy stitches, pull a tooth, give and injection. I am petrified. But no one will do it if I do not. He is present, He holds my hand, they are all fine.

It is August and I must get on a plane back to America to go to college, as I have promised my father. I do not remember how to be a teenager or what it is to be normal Brentwood, Tennessee. I will have to leave my babies. I will have to make new friends. I am sad and I am terrified. He wraps His arms around me. He puts just the right people in just the right places, and they help me and they make me feel at home.

First semester is over and He speaks clearly to me that I cannot serve two masters. “Go HOME,” He says, “and stay.” I am uncertain, but I want to be obedient. He squeezes tighter. I am thankful.

I have to look at my loving parents who have given me everything and tell them that I will not go to college right now, because I feel God wants me to be in Uganda. I know how disappointed and how angry they will be. I am more scared than I was when I got on the plane and more scared than I was when I took my first children. But I know that this IS the Plan. They love me anyway.

It is February and my daughter’s biological father comes to take her away. My heart breaks in half, and I am not sure I will ever be able to get out of my bed again, let alone foster another child. I am more than devastated, but I want what is best for her, what He wants for her. She comes back and her biological father learns about Jesus.

It is March and a lame little girl is brought to my gate. She is undoubtedly mine, but I am still anxious. What if I can’t do it? I don’t know what to do with a special needs child, especially as my 13th child. I am criticized and ridiculed. I wonder. I trust and praise God for her sweet little life. She starts to walk.

I find myself in a village full of starving people that for some reason seem to want to kill me. God says to serve them anyway. I am not sure how it is going to work, or if it is safe. I can’t figure it out, but I know He can. 1,200 Karamajongs, the poorest of Uganda’s poor, are now served hot meals daily.

We keep taking in more children until there are 400 in our program. There is no way we will raise enough funds, but by now I have stopped worrying. He has always provided. Blessings rain from the sky, and all 400 children go to school.

I am 20 years old and have 13 children and 400 more who all depend on me for their care. Who are all learning to love Jesus and be responsible adults and looking up to me. The reality of it all can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, it is always pure joy. There is a common misconception that I am courageous. I will be the first to tell you that this is not actually true. Most of the time, I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not. Most mornings, before I even get out of bed I am overwhelmed with His goodness, with His plan for my life; I stand in awe of the fact that He could entrust me with so much. Most days, I don’t have much of a plan. I don’t always know where this is going. I can’t see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter, getting out of the boat. I do not know my five year plan; even tomorrow will probably not go as I have planned. I am thrilled and I am terrified, in a good way. So some call it courage, some call it foolish, I call it Faith. I choose to get out of the boat. To take the next step. Sometimes I walk straight into His arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost completely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand."

I can't wait to see this!

2009-08-13T19:08:00.000-04:00

14 wonderful years together!

2009-08-12T19:13:00.005-04:00

Well, now I have officially cleaned 5 houses. Let me just say... it is hard work! I never it was possible to spend 3 hours on a kitchen or 1 hr 30 min on a bathroom but now I have. I have learned that it is satisfying to clean something dirty and make it look nice. Anyway... I think it will work well. It seems I will have quite a few regulars and so it should get easier and quicker.

Last weekend, Kurt and I celebrated our 14th anniversary by going camping. We went to Shenandoah Nat. Park in Virginia and then spent a few hours running around DC on Sunday. It was a great weekend. My mom came up to stay with the girls and the boys stayed with Kurt's parents. It was good quality time for all. Here's a few pictures. We got to see many bears and they seemed to like to walk right past our campsite. One night... we could even hear one peeing next to our tent. That was a first! By the time we got home, we had done so much hiking and walking that I could hardly move. Good times...